The new Sheikh owners of Manchester City have sensationally declared their intention to create GM (genetically modified) -Down Syndrome- players in a London-based laboratory.
In a candid interview, Dr. Al-Oilman, the new head of Man City's board of directors', explained the process to TheSpoof.com. "Using an undifferentiated human egg, we will be able to create babies with an extra chromosome 21, thereby creating male specimens with better footballing abilities."
Although physically retarded, the new players will possess extreme ball-balance, and speed, abilities. Additionally, when asked about the potential health risks that the new experiments could present to the new-born athletes, Dr. Al-Oilman replied, "Although risky, these experiments are completely safe. Our hefty payment plans will ensure that all the parties involved, including the FA, will be fully satisfied with the results."
The proposed plan will also ensure that the future Man City squad will be successfully able to compete with City rivals Manchester United, which (according to Dr. Al-Oilman) already have many high-valued players possessing down-syndrome.
"Look at Vidic, Tevez, and Rooney! Despite their mental, and skeletal, retardations, their down syndrome related footballing physiques have clearly enabled them to beat Chelsea FC in both the CL and premiership. See, we're not so bad, Ferguson has been purchasing naturally deformed players for years. The only difference is that our Manager will use scientists as opposed to scouts." added Dr. Al-Oilman.