Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 14 September 2008

image for Babe Ruth Storms Back to Yankee Stadium as a Category 5
A field of dreams, it seems!

The legendary Babe Ruth shocked Yankee fans when he returned to life recently to make a brief and fiery appearance at Yankee Stadium. "This year's team is a disgrace," he said. "It's enough to raise the dead. What a bunch of losers." With a tear in his eye, he looked around and said, "And now The House that Ruth Built will be no more."

A flustered Hank Steinbrenner tried to console him up by ordering up a few hot dogs and beers, but Ruth still didn't look happy. "Go home to Poppa," he advised Hank. But Hank persisted. He invited the Yankee hero to come back for the first game in the new stadium on April 16, 2009. Ruth didn't answer but proceeded to wolf down the hot dogs and guzzle his beer.

When Hank told him there'd be a Babe Ruth plaque prominently displayed in the new Yankee Stadium, The Babe told him, "Don't you remember what I once said in life? 'Reading isn't good for a ballplayer. Not good for his eyes. If my eyes went bad even a little bit I couldn't hit home runs. So I gave up reading.'" Staring directly at Hank, he said, "I don't do plaques, dummy."

Ruth then made his way to the exit. A startled fan reported that he had heard The Babe, on looking around the old Yankee Stadium for the last time, mutter under his breath, "A pox on this house." Hank Steinbrenner discounted the fan's account, insisting that what The Babe had actually said was: "It rocks in this house." Yeah, right. Umpire to Hank: "Yer out!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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