Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 12 September 2008

image for Man City Rest Robinho Amid Chelsea 'Own Goal' Worry
Robinho, in a City shirt, practises celebrating

The world's richest football club, Manchester City, have rested their new £33million star Robinho for today's match with Chelsea, after fears were raised that the Brazilian might score an own goal.

Robinho was to have signed for Chelsea, but was whisked away to Middle Eastlands at the last minute when the Stamford Bridge club dithered. Robinho, himself, thought he had been signed by Manchester United, having never been to the city before.

At training this week though, Robinho has been giving manager Mark Hughes something of a worry, and he has now been told to "have the weekend off", so that he doesn't put the ball in the wrong net.

There was more 'tetchiness' between the two clubs today, when it emerged that the Chelsea manager Luis Felipe Scolari had been offered the manager's position at City before Hughes. He turned down the offer, saying:

"They are shit. I want manage big club lots of money."

City go into the game in a confident mood, safe in the knowledge that, with the millions of pounds available from their new Arab owners, they can afford to buy any player they so desire. Manager Hughes will err on the side of caution with Robinho this week though, and said:

"We'll rest him today. He's a bit of a crybaby, and we don't want to upset him by playing him against the team he wanted to join. It might be a bit emotional for him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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