Newcastle United and England striker Michael Owen has gone all businesslike, and has decided to build a £12million Wonderland Theme Park in the grounds of his luxury retreat on the Costa del Sol.
Owen, who national team manager Fabio Capello jettisoned last week for England's crucial World Cup qualifiers in Andorra and Croatia, has spoken to nutcase pop star Michael Jackson about the Neverland theme park in the US.
Mr Jackson, who used to be black, but is, these days, a funny shade of beige, has advised 30-year-old Owen on finance, location and conceptual development, as well as giving him the lowdown on what kinds of 'rides' little children like best.
Owen has amassed a great wealth, and needs something to lose it on. Jackson has a vast experience in this field, and has said he will do all he can to help. In return, the Newcastle striker has offered to help Jacko with his ball skills, as the ex-crooner is known to be a keen fondler of testicles.