Higgs Boson is to be appointed as new manager at Newcastle. Mr. Boson was last seen managing the CERN team until his disappearance some years ago.
The board at CERN have been disparately searching for the elusive Mr. Boson for some time now, and were about to launch a new accelerated search. But some of CERN's supporters claim that discovery of Boson, at Newcastle, might have disastrous consequences for the future of football across the whole planet.
According to many Newcastle fans, the world came to an end last week, when Kevin Keegan resigned from Newcastle United.
A large black (and white) hole appeared over the city and fans are now calling for a beam of accelerated particles (preferably in the shape of a boot) to be directed at the owner and management team.