Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 9 September 2008

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Murray after the defeat

Andy Murray, the beaten finalist in last night's US Open Tennis championships at Flushing Meadows, has said he knows he has to improve elements of his game if he is to win a major tournament, and has vowed to have a shave.

Murray lost in straight sets (2-6, 5-7, 2-6) to world number 2, Roger Federer, and was roundly criticised by the media for his unkempt appearance and slovenly antics.

In the third set, the Scot slumped in his chair, apparently unaware of watching spectators, and uncaring of the fact that many of them had paid top-dollar to come and see two well-presented players engage each other clean-shaven, with hair combed, and in shirts that had been washed and ironed.

Sections of the crowd booed Murray, and shouted:

"Get a shave you tramp!"

Murray seemed either not to hear, or not to take any notice, and carried on playing, employing the same devil-may-care approach which has always been part of his game.

After the loss though, Murray attended a Press conference and said he had spoken to his mum and his coach, and that he had decided to have a wash, clean his teeth, get his hair cut, and have a long-needed shave.

He was adamant about his clothing, however, when he added:

"Am not changen ma underkegs untul Wumbledon!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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