Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 8 September 2008

image for Hull City Manager Phil Brown To Be Punished By FA
The referee's a basta...hang on...I can't say that can I?

Phil Brown, the Hull City boss, has become the first manager to be charged by the FA with misconduct, arising out of an event during the 5-0 home defeat by Wigan on August 30th, when Brown kicked a water bottle.

Under the FA's new 'Respect' programme: "it is an offence to kick a water bottle, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and if it's unintentionally, well, frankly, that's no excuse."

The Respect programme is something of a mystery to clubs, players, fans and the FA itself, and is causing confusion up-and-down the leagues. Last Saturday saw a number of confusing incidents.

At the Tranmere/Oldham game, NINE players were booked for spitting, and in the nine-goal thriller between Peterborough United and Bristol Rovers, Posh captain Chris Westwood was cautioned for his comments to the referee at the final whistle. Westwood said:

"That was close, ref!"

Referee Andy D'Urso - who is a referee who least deserves any respect following his catalogue of unbelievable errors whilst he was a Premier League official - told our Spoof reporter:

"Any more, and he'd have been off!"

Commenting on the Respect initiative, the Premier League's Richard Scudmissile said:

"Kicking water bottles is one of the things that we are trying to clamp down on. We just won't tolerate that kind of dissent. Unless it's Rafa, or, you know, Sir Alex. He can do whatever he likes because he's Sir Alex Ferguson.

Hull won't appeal, because it would be thrown out. They're not Top 4.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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