Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 7 September 2008

image for Andy Murray And Rafa Nadal Locked In 'Muscle Match'
Nadal's mum: muscularity runs in the family

Andy Murray and world number 1, Rafael Nadal, are locked in a battle for a Final berth against Roger Federer in the US Open at Flushing Meadows today, in what has been called the Muscle Match.

Both these young men have impressive muscles, and delight in rolling their sleeves up and showing the crowd their attributes. It's not very gentlemanly - I'm not sure what Sir Fred Perry would have made of it - but it's the done thing these days, and there's no real harm in it.

Murray can claim a 19" bicep when flexed, whereas Nadal, who has been working-out much longer, has a measurement of over 20", and can even cleverly balance a tray of drinks on his.

Murray has impressive calf muscles that become visibly taut when he stretches, but, again, Nadal trumps him with his calves, which are so well-developed, that he can rattle them together as if playing a pair of Maracas.

Where Murray comes out on top of the diminutive Spaniard, though, is in the Appendage department, because, despite Nadal's claim that he is hung like a Mallorcan donkey, it is, in fact, the Scot who is, almost certainly, the Biggest Knob on the current Grand Slam circuit.

Game, Set and Match to Murray.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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