Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 6 September 2008

image for Capello To Be Sacked If England Don't Score 10
Another embarrassment looms

England kick-off their World Cup campaign in Andorra today, with team boss Fabio Capello knowing that his job is on the line should his team fail to live up to the expectations of fans.

The Italian has come under pressure recently, and after the poor showing against the same minnows under Steve McClaren's reign, the FA has said that should England fail to win by TEN clear goals, Capello will be sacked!

Even though England is 'the home of football', and that they have strength in depth, it's still going to be a struggle when you consider that the team will be without Michael Owen and Rio Ferdinand.

Owen has been rested because of the trauma he's suffered over the last week with regard to the Kevin Keegan resignation at Newcastle. Ferdinand has been left at home, as he scares children.

Capello will be looking to Wayne Rooney, the World 'Erm' Champion, and Portsmouth's Jerman Defoe, the World 'Y'Know' Champion, for the goals, knowing that, as the group will be tight, the team need to score as many goals as possible to establish an impressive goals difference tally.

Prediction: Andorra 0 England 4

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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