Written by fallen wizard
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Wednesday, 3 September 2008

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Kev and The Clowns

Affable and extremely likeable Gay Icon, Kevin Keegan (Kev) has today announced he will be holding a farewell concert, billed as ¨ Auf Wiedersehen Pet¨ at St James's Park on Saturday night.

Kev issued a statement ¨I love Newcastle United, I really do, I love the Geordies, the banter, I really do. I love the beer, I really do, I love the fog on the tyne and the fat slag's, I really do, and I would like to reassure all my fans that I am NOT leaving St James's Park entirely, it is just a role-switch¨.

The role-switch Kev refers to is the astonishing news that he has resigned as Football Manager but WILL STAY ON as the clubs Entertainments Manager.

Tyneside cynics are whispering that this is an attempt to capitalize on his local fan base to revive a failed 1970's pop career. This is confirmed by the fact that his record label ¨The Gay Mackems¨ are re-releasing his 1979 sonnet, Head Over Heels in Love, which soared to number 31 in the UK pop charts.

A record company spokesman said ¨Kev is gonna be launched as a solo artist but before Christmas he plans to get together with a few pals and we will re-launch as; Kev and the Clowns, probably debuting with re-recordings of hits like; Puppet on a String, You won't find another fool like me Mike and to make the most of his Gay Icon status, Let's hear it for the Boys¨

However, it won't be all plain sailing for Kev as this week another Newcastle based artist is launching a solo pop career. Rapper, Michael J Ashley is debuting with a new version of the 1929 hit; Horst Wessel.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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