Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 2 September 2008

image for Keegan Sacked Over Joey Barton Birthday Party
Happy Birthday to you!

Kevin Keegan, the sacked Newcastle United manager, lost his job over his loyalty in jailed midfielder Joey Barton, it has been claimed, with the Messiah having organised a birthday party for the Scouse lout this morning.

Barton, 26 today, recently completed his 6-month sentence for common assault and affray, and was released into his manager's care, much to the disgust of Keegan's fellow football managers. The Toon boss went one step further though: he put him in the Magpies side to face Arsenal last Saturday!

When Barton ran out onto the pitch at the Emirates Stadium, the player was greeted by boos and jeers - and that was only the Newcastle fans! Arsenal supporters also voiced their opinions, but were far less vociferous.

As Barton turned up for training this morning, Keegan greeted him with an extraordinary rendition of "Happy Birthday!" and had the rest of the squad wish him well and give him 'Three Cheers'.

For Newcastle owner Mike Ashley, this was too much, and he summoned Keegan to his office, where he gave the grey-haired Messiah a dressing-down. It's not known what Keegan's responses were, but the ex-England boss is now on the dole again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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