Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 28 August 2008

image for Berbatov Transfer Scandal As 'Body Double' Found
Extremely moody

Dimitar Berbatov, the unsettled Tottenham striker, is at the centre of Fraud allegations tonight, after a 'body double' of the moody Bulgarian was found in a North London factory.

Berbatov has been a target for Manchester United recently, and it was thought by many, that he was 'on the verge' of signing for the Reds, but skids are now well-and-truly under the deal.

The shocking discovery was made by two young boys who were exploring the 'disused' tool factory during their school holidays. One of them, little Jimmy Thompson, 7, takes up the story:

"We was just havin' a look around, mister! We weren't doin' nuffin, honest! There was a robot!"

Police were called when a pedestrian heard screams coming from inside the factory.
PC John Connor, an Arsenal fan, was first on the scene, and describes what happened:

"I approached the premises from a North-westerly direction and flung open the doors. I recognised the suspect from the telly, his demeanour being of an Eastern European gentleman. I said to 'im: Ere! You're that Dimitrou Berbirod, arncha?"

Not known for his flowing discourse, the Berbatov double considered this question for a while before answering:


Back-up arrived, and the robot was taken away to Paddington Green police station, where he is being held on Fraud allegations.

A police spokesman told us that an investigation was under way to see if there were any other Berbatovs kicking about.

Mr Berbatov will remain in custody until either Sir Alex Ferguson picks him up, or the correct amount of postage is paid to send him to Old Trafford.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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