Written by Francine Fishpaw
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Monday, 25 August 2008

Reports are surfacing that the United Kingdom will recruit singers Lilly Allen and Amy Winehouse to represent the country at the 2012 London Olympics.

Ian Beaton, chairman of the UK Olympic Boxing Committee, has told reporters at the Beijing Olympics that he is trying procure both Lilly Allen and Amy Winehouse to represent the UK in the boxing category at the 2012 London Olympics.

"We would clearly get gold or silver if we had those two scrappers on our boxing team", stated Ian Beaton, "Imagine the damage they could do". "Have you seen how they box the paparazzi"? "They would clearly be an asset to the UK boxing team in our quest for the top two medal spots in the Olympics".

Reporters tried to get responses from both Lilly Allen and Amy Winehouse, but the reporters were repeatedly punched and socked by the wild singers. After Winehouse calmed down to the reporter's questions she suddenly vomited on them uncontrollably.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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