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Sunday, 24 August 2008

image for After Success of Beach Volleyball, WNBA Adopts White Bikinis
Opposing players prepare for a game.

Due to the success of the U.S. Beach Volleyball team (gold medal in the Olympics and over 100 straight victories), the WNBA (Women's National Basketball Association) has decided to adopt the uniform of Misty May-Traenor and Kerri Walsh. From now on, visiting teams at all games will be required to wear white bikinis that become partially see through after the athletes get sweaty.

Exit poles at the venue revealed that more people came to see the players in their uniforms, along with the bikini clad cheerleaders on the sides of the stadium, than came to see the actual matches. Yahoo and Google also report that images of the sweaty volleyball players were the most searched items of the past two weeks.

Bubba Ledbetter, spokesman for the WNBA, revealed the thought process in a statement:

"Well, we know that our ratings suck and we are only being kept afloat on the generousity of the NBA. We gotta do something to put more butts in the seats and bring on more viewers."

"We figure that if the ball isn't the only thing bouncing on the court, and you know what I mean, we'll increase our market share. If we can get more male and lesbian audience participation, both live and on television, we can dig ourselves out of our financial hole."

"Hand checking, instead of being a foul, will become a requirement."

"Dribbling is something that may be going on just as much in the stands."

"We also may get us some Sports Illustrated covers out of this."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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