Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 24 August 2008

image for Olympic Marathon Won By Unfancied Runner
Dame Kelly Holmes

The final event of the 2008 Olympic Games, the Men's marathon, took place in Bejing early this morning, and produced a shock winner, when a competitor in a Gorilla Suit crossed the line first to claim the gold medal.

The runner wore number 1809, the same number Dame Kelly Holmes wore when winning her two gold medals in Athens, but it was definitely not her because, at that very moment, Holmes was sitting in the BBC studio with another ape, Sue Barker.

Commentator Brendan Foster persistently referred to competitor 1809 as

"one of the African runners"

He hit the front, broke away from the field, and made a breakaway at just over 20km, and was able to stay away from the chasing bunch, even having time to make a stop at a water station for five minutes for a drink and a banana.

The gorilla took the applause and waved to the crowd once inside the Bird's Nest, and posed for photographs in the finishing straight, before beating his chest and pipping Paula Radcliffe, who was just finishing last Sunday's women's race, on the line.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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