Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 23 August 2008

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Cheating bastards!!!!

More Olympic scandal today, in the Taekwondo arena this time, with British girl Sarah Stevenson being the victim of the judges' incompetence, as she lost to, you guessed it, a Chinese competitor.

Sarah was trailing 1-0 with just seconds of her match left, when she connected with a head kick, worth two points, full in the face of Chen Zhong, but judges chose to ignore it.

Two of the judges stormed onto the mat and approached the referee, but collectively, the officials decided that, as the Olympics are in China, they'd better side with the host competitor, and appease the crowd.

One of the judges claimed he was "unsighted".

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has called an emergency meeting of the Cabinet at Whitehall today, and has said War with China is one of the options available to the government after this latest outrage.

Mr Brown addressed journalists gathered outside 10 Downing Street, and said:

"Everyone could see it was a full head kick. That, as the Chinese delegation well know, is worth two points. The result should be changed. Sarah won, and should go through to the Final."

London Mayor Boris Johnson chipped-in saying that he will mention it to President Hu at the Olympic Handover on Sunday. He said:

"I think it's outrageous! I'll aim one at his head, and another in his balls!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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