Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 21 August 2008

image for British Swimmer Claims Silver After Near-Death Experience
C'mon" Swim y' bastard!!!

British 10km Open Water swimmer David Davies swam the race of his life to win a silver medal in Beijing today, but revealed afterwards that it nearly didn't happen.

Davies told officials at the finish line that he believed he had "died", and come back to life whilst in the water.

He said he had seen himself "from above, swimming in a large body of filthy black water" with other swimmers chasing him. A crowd were cheering him on in Chinese. He told of "an incredible urge to paddle faster" and then blacked out.

Doctors at the scene said that Davies may have had a near-death experience on his way to second place, and that he had "given his all, in the pursuit of glory".

Davies' coach, Mal Coughin, agreed, saying:

"Yeah, swimming's a bit like that. It's disappointing. He did all the hard work, and then got overtaken almost on the line. I don't know about a near-death experience; it was more like a near-Gold experience!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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