Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 20 August 2008

image for Usain Bolt Falls Over, Still Wins In 200m Final
Your foster parents are dead

Usain Bolt, the Jamaican 'quick man', had a setback in todays' 200m sprint final when he fell over, but still won, breaking the World Record in the process.

Terminator Bolt flew out of the blocks, but stumbled, and shattered into a million tiny pieces on the track. But, having been updated to a shape-shifting T-1000 model, his mimetic poly-alloy construction allowed him to re-form near the finish line, and cross it ahead of the field with time to spare.

Michael Johnson, who held the record before Bolt smashed it in 19.30 seconds, said:

"He can't form complex machines. Guns and explosives have chemicals, moving parts. He doesn't work that way, but he can form solid metal shapes. Like knives and stabbing weapons. He's great!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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