Friday's opening ceremony at the Olympic Games was thrown into total disarray as riot police stormed the main stage and arrested cherpy Scouse veteran Comedian Ken 'Doddy' Dodd. He was punched, kicked and stun-gunned by Riot Police after comments made during his act caused the crowd to react angrily.
Mr Dodd kicked off his act by saying 'how tickled he was' that China was beating Students into submission with Tanks. Things soon got worse when the veteran Scouse jokester yelled 'what a beautiful day it was' for flaunting human rights and oppressing Chinese people. Mr Dodd, who was clearly intoxicated, then went on to suggest all Chinese Athletes were drugs cheats and then exposed himself to then wildly spray an impromptu urine sample around the stage whilst shouting "test that for steroids, by jove!"
The show opened with a dance display by a troop of leather clad Chinese Diddy Men, who emerged from under a Chinese Dragon doing cart-wheels amidst a fireworks display. Then Dodd emerged through a cloud of dry-ice smoke to begin his act before things got out of hand. Mr Dodd bravely attempted to defend himself, but an 80 year old Scouse Comedian armed only with a Tickle Stick is no match for a gang of angry Riot Police.
The President of China's Olympic Organising Committee, Mr Wokung Fu Zha, who'd booked Mr Dodd thinking he was the 'ideal curtain raising' act, has refused to comment.