Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 16 August 2008

image for Ben Ainslie Asks British Expats For Farts To Create Wind For Crucial Race
Ainslie waits patiently for farts

Ben Ainslie, the British sailor, has put out a request for Beijing-based British expatriates to come down to the Olympic sailing event today, and provide wind for his crucial last race, by farting en masse.

The strange request comes after Saturday's race was cancelled due to a lack of wind.

The Beijing expats are a hardy bunch, who are known to enjoy 'knocking a few back', especially at the weekend, and can assist Ben in producing some 'hearty gusts' to spur him towards a gold medal.

Ainslie's team manager Stephen Park, said:

"What we need is wind, and lots of it. As many expat sailing fans as possible should come down to the Qingdao waterfront tanked-up, and 'blow their tubes' for Ben and for Great Britain."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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