Written by Pyotr Zumwalt
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Saturday, 16 August 2008

image for China's Olympic Fantasy

Sources have revealed Chinese Olympic coverage to be among the most creative fictions of the 21st century. Controversy over computer-generated fireworks, lip-syncing youngsters, and Han Chinese disguised as members of China's ethnic groups have proved to be the several tips of an iceberg of ersatz:

"China Medal Count: 400!" proclaimed a daily Beijing newspaper on Friday, with an article suggesting that the rest of the world has been held to a total of 16 bronze medals. After authorities threatened to shut down the paper, a retraction was printed: "China Medal Count: 416!"

Computer imaging was used to replace the faces of the entire Chinese women's weightlifting team with that of film star and pop singer Vicky Zhao.

Chinese television coverage included footage of Olympic Yak Racing and Firework Catching events. These "events" were won respectively by Chinese president Hu Jintao and Premier Wen Jiabao. Each politician appeared to sport prominent Spartan-style "six-packs" and massive codpieces.

Radio, television, and newspaper coverage reported swimming events as won by Mai-Kul Phelps from the Guangdong provincial capital of Ann Arbor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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