Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 16 August 2008

image for Usain Bolt In Possible Medal-Stripping Scandal
Usain Bolt

Usain Bolt, the fastest man on Earth, could be stripped of his Olympic 100m sprint gold medal after it was discovered that his name is an anagram of the silly word 'Ablutions'.

Bolt, 21, is from Jamaica, where the standard way of telling someone that you are going to the toilet, is to say:

"Am goin fe me mek me ablutions, right!?"

IOC officials say the possibly-made-up name had escaped their extremely strict vetting process, and were due to hold an emergency meeting tonight to decide if Bolt's name was acceptable or not, and, more importantly, whether or not he would be allowed to keep his medal.

Jamaican athletics team coach Tiko Jameson, whose name, incidentally, is an anagram of Smoke A Joint, said:

"Whappen, mon? Is gotta name is Usain Bolt. Is nuttin abowt de toilet! Now, leave im alone, an' give im back im lickle gol' medal!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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