While the world watched the American porn stars Misty May-Crack and her partner Alyssa Alps tear their half naked way through the Beach Volley Ball Olympics, no one expected that a British Noble would grab the gold. But Lady Samantha Four-Bums brought her 4th degree "A" game on to win the gold medal.
Most observers thought that the actual score of each match was the determining factor for the Olympic medal. To the surprise of many Olympic aficionados, the IOC clarified the rules to explain that in fact beach volley ball had a unique set of scoring criterion.
The greatest number of points is actually awarded to the number of camera shots directed to a player's bum. Since Lady Samantha Four-Bums captured four times the number of cheek-shots, she will be named the Olympic Volley Ball Champion.
When challenged by USA coaches, The IOC explained: " Did you really think this was a sport!?"