Boston Red Sox star and frequent pain in the ass Manny "Ack" Ramirez has been sidelined recently with a contract dispute that seems to have settles into one of his knees. The injury though Manny can't tell which knee is acting up has prevented him from staring in the opening game of the big post-All Star game series at Fenway with rival New York Yankees.
Red Sox management sent Manny to the nurse's office where he was referred for an MRI, a new test developed by Boston doctors called the Manny Ramirez Imposter exam. The test proved quite successful in its trial run. It clearly demonstrated that Ramirez was as injured as his urine test was clean.
Ordered to play and threatened with a trade, Manny approved the trade option and went on to play the game of his life against the Yanks as he auditioned for the big upcoming swap. Boston Catholics spent the night after Manny prevented a Yankee sweep at Fenway lighting candles at the nice neighborhood churches the Boston diocese has kept open. Lifelong Red Sox fan and life long loser Patty O' Nexyeah told thespoof:" I ve been tanking the Almighty and all the saints for Manny's healin'! It's a true mercy from Gawd that we finally took one from those New Yahk divils!"