Written by Igor Biscanator
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Monday, 18 August 2008

image for Lampard Reveals Winning Chelsea Offer
A delighted Frank at the press conference

The long disputed contract row between Frank and Chelsea seems to over. After being offered a piffling £150,000 per week for four years Frank seriously considered moving away. This feeling of unrest was magnified when his favourite takeaway (The Fat Bastardaria) recently closed after being bankrupted by season ticket price rises and the credit crunch.

However despite the lure of Serie A champions and former manager Jose Morninho Chelsea played their trump card with a £100 per week + Pie as you play offer. A delighted Frank said that this would prove it wasnt all about the money and that it would give him a real incentive to play as many games as possible over the next 5 seasons, adding that he gets a Banana milkshake for every goal he scores and a chocolate milkshake for every deflected goal also.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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