London, England - The Metropolitan Police Fraud Squad are today investigating Big Phil Scolari, the recently appointed coach of Chelsea F.C."Its misrepresentation innit?" Inspector Terry "Chaggar" Evans "He's just not as big as he claims to be"
The alleged fraud was uncovered last week during a "meet the fans" open day at Stamford Bridge, the home of Chelsea F.C.Scolari, who is Bolivian, mingled with the fans, and, by all accounts, proved to be an affable and likeable character.Witnesses at the scene have said that everybody was admiring just how big Mr Scolari was, when a small boys voice from the crowd piped up "He's not THAT big"
This remark soon led many people to see how they had been fooled, or perhaps fooled themselves, thus making them angry and wish for revenge. Mr Scolari was reported to the police by several irate fans.
"This isn't a new problem" sighed Inspector Evans "We've had it here in the Met, and other Constabularies in the sticks have had it too."Big"Jack Charlton, "Big" Ron Atkinson
"Big" Sam Allerdyce. So many of them.And you know, that kid was right, they're not that big"