Following recent transfer disappointment over such cars as the Seat Torres, The Ford Street Kaka, and the recently produced Nissan Messi and Renaultdinho, Norman Getridovitch has instructed used car dealer Big Popeye Doyle to import more wheels from Russia..
Despite offering untold wealth and fortune to Europes top drivers it has become clear that nobody seems to want to drive the club from Fulham anymore. They can't hang onto a transport manager and even the agency driver who cost them their insurance waiver against Salford Van Hire after skidding on some diesel wants a move to AC Parcel Express.
Popeye has expressed doubts over London FC's dodgy dealings in the used car and antiquities market following the much publicised multi-million pound purchase of a Skoda Shevechenko. Doyle is reported to have been fuming when he arrived at the clubs Cobham Training ground to find a clapped out 1 litre 2 door Eastern European runabout with a misfiring engine and dodgy suspension.
"Norman called me and said we were getting a new arrival from Italy. I was expecting maybe Paoulo Lamborghini or maybe an AUDI Schweisteiger when to be honest it's bit like a Moskvitch or a Wartburg. Blows smoke all over the place, crap on corners, horrible wheezing noise whenever it's running and only got one boot"