Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 10 July 2008

image for Frank Lampard Talks To Newspaper
Not Frank Lampard's nose, but you get the idea

Frank Lampard, the Chelsea captain, is in the news again, not, this time, about his proposed transfer to Italian giants Inter Milan, but for speaking to a newspaper about his future plans.

Lampard, 30, has been at the centre of recent speculation that he would leave the Blues, and try to negotiate a four-year deal with a bigger club in Europe. So far, negotiations have stalled, and the player has now unashamedly shown his frustration.

The England midfielder reportedly spoke to a copy of The Sun this morning as it lay on a park bench, muttering something about "seven years of good service counting for nothing".

In another incident, he was heard chuntering to a crumpled Daily Mirror as it lay on the floor in a bus shelter in Peckham. Witness to this conversation, Bert Earwax, 57, said that Lampard appeared disgruntled and distressed:

"He said something about 'the thanks you get', and having his nose pushed out by 'that Big Phil'. He was in a right state."

All this comes only days after Lampard allegedly lost his temper and struck an early edition of The Evening Standard last Friday, telling it he had had enough of the media and all connected with Fleet Street.

Asked what he thought about Lampard's antics, new Stamford Bridge boss, Luis Felipe Scolari, said:

"He is free to speak to whoever and whatever he likes, although I agree that speaking to newspapers does seem a bit loco."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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