Tennis player Andy Murray is to retire from tennis to take up pingpong.
Speaking from his garden shed, he said: 'Tennis had become too easy for me, I needed more of a challenge. My 12 mile an hour serves were hammering my opponents on the grass, and the Wimbledon nets were just too low - on a table tennis table the higher nets and incredibly faster serves will be much more difficult, I'd like to see Rafael Nadal cope against me in my garden shed!'
BBC commentators are widely expecting Murray to dominate table tennis, and even to become the first British champion since 1882, at the All-England Pingpong Club in Macclesfield, and fans were already stocking up on Union Jacks and Victorian British Empire maps in anticipation. One Murray follower, Mrs. Hyperia Henman said: 'We can't wait to see Andy playing, makes us all proud to be English!' And her friend, Mrs. Virginia Braithewade, added: 'Hoorah! Rule Britannia!'
John McEnroe said: 'You cannot be serious! The hype was definitely in! Shame Andy is definitely out!'
Fred Perry was selling sports shirts at the front door.