Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 26 June 2008

image for Wimbledon 2008: Maria Sharapova Beaten In "No Knickers" Shock
Sharapova's suitcase tonight

Wimbledon got another shock to its system today, when Maria Sharapova, the number 3 seed, crashed out to world number 154 Alla Kudryavtseva, but the biggest shock was saved for the very last point of the game, when Sharapova revealed she was, in fact, wearing no underwear.

With Kudryavtseva one set up, and leading 5-4 in the second, Sharapova inexplicably lifted her short skirt to reveal her fadge to her opponent. Despite this, Kudryavtseva kept her nerve, and broke the Russian pin-up's serve.

As she hit the winning pass, she said a little rhyme to herself:

"I keep my nerve
And break her serve"

Sharapova, or The Gruntress as she is sometimes known, had given no indication that she was playing Commando.

Spectators say they were "outraged" by Sharapova's liberal attitude to underwear, and Wimbledon officials have stipulated that all erogenous zones must, in the future, be fully covered.

One aroused fan, German Rein-hard Koch, said:

"It vos outrageously good falue for manny!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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