Dictator of Zimbabwe Sir Robert Mugabe yesterday suffered a series of humiliating blows which will no doubt lead to genocide, bloodshed, all out civil war and the inevitable end of his dictatorial reign.
The game was clearly up for Mugabe as several previous big hitters on the "international" scene who had maintained their dignified silence, got together as one following a string of phone calls and set about verbally,weighing him in.
King of Africa Nelson Mandela, kicked it off, with his that's not cricket and you're not going to be playing any jibes, this was closely followed by Her gracious majesty, Elizabeth, Queen of the christian free world, who had earlier in the day stripped Mugabe of his precious Knighthood. Further sticking the boot in with her let's be sensible about this comments.
Mugabe was going down fast and others lined up to get the toe in, speaking from outside the Casey Jones stadium in the fair city of Ull upon Umber a club spokesman confirmed that the club whom Mugabe had idloised, ever since they beat Watford 4-1 in the pay off semi final, the other week had withdrawn his season pass. The season ticket queue fiasco may as well not have happened for Mugabe and he is said to be out in the cold once again.
When things looked as if they couldn't get worse for the dictator they did. A man who is only known by the name of the best dancer in Hull, has gone public stating that is is now time for "bob to clear his desk".
Hull City Psycho Fatwah's are usually penned and issued in the name of their Iman a mr Monkey Woods and it is widely believed such a document could well be in existence, if so the future looks bleak for Mugabe.
As wise men say in the fair city of Ull upon Umber.
He probably won't be seen about much from now on! Last you'll hear of him til funeral. Gone by Christmas, mark my words.
Monkey Woods would like to thank king Nelly and queen bet for their assistance in this rather pressing need for a regime change.
Robert Mugabe is 83 not out, but one wonders for how long he will stay not out.