Written by WOOD MONKEYS
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Topics: Hull City FC

Saturday, 21 June 2008

image for Hull City-Premier League Bell Ring- Decision Imminent
17th is VICTORY

Hull City Football Club, new entrants to this year's premiership have recently announced their intention to have a bell ringing ceremony on the opening day of the new football season.

Following the news, which was widely reported in local media, fans of the club have been invited to put names forward. This appears to have being made necessary due to their being no natural or logical choices.

Lord Windass of Ilkley would be many fans choice, but as the bell itself is likely to be well away from the pitch area and with the Godfather of the premiership still likely to be figuring prominently in the squad, this idea is likely to be a non starter.

Phil Brown, who has already been quoted in his views on the legacy he would like to leave behind, is thought by some to be a good candidate for the Manchester United assistant manager's job and may or may not be available to ring bells come the day, he, like Lord Windass is expected to be in the pitch area, but which pitch area is so far unclear.

David Mellor, former corrupt tory politician and fat nobody who expressed the view that Hull City were not worthy of a premier league place, is now said to have changed his mind completely and is now a life long Hull City Fan who also has a new Hull City shirt with a completely new mistress to wear it for. This may fool some people but wiser club officials who are aware of the clubs fans poor reputation are unlikely to risk a lynching.

A more popular choice may well be two bell ringers to take on the duties of bell ringing. The combination that seems to have the most credibility is Mr Jim "bullseye" Bowen and Adam "Mr Derby" Pearson. The combination of a comedian and an imbecile seems a good one but sources tell me that this may fall down due to mr Bowen refusing to accept the imbecile billing in the advertising.

Regardless of who rings the bell, it's results that count and as wise men say in the fair city of Ull upon Umber.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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