Written by Maurice Flash
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Topics: Hull City FC

Friday, 20 June 2008

Kinkladze, Anders Limpar, Kanchelskis. All these and many more have provisionally agreed to appear at a benefit match at the World Class KC stadium, proceeds to be split equally between 'Shoes for East Hull' and 'West Yorkshire Mutants Benevolent fund' - helping the offspring of couplings between miners and pit ponies.

This sense of noblesse oblige was mooted when a previous appeal brought a number of East Hull teenagers, whose families are in 'reduced circumstances' to the West of the city.

They were amazed at a plethora of items not normally found in East Hull, including grass, and fruit.
In addition to clothing and food, they will receive instruction in the 3 golden rules of gentlemanly conduct, namely;

  1. Be chivalrous to members of the opposite sex
  2. Start with the outermost cutlery and work inwards
  3. Never spit in a mans face unless his moustache is on fire (particularly appropriate for the hirsute, walrus like menfolk of Castleford and Featherstone)
    1. I feel Hull City are to be commended for this gesture, they really are going from strength to strength......

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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