Written by Maurice Flash
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Tuesday, 17 June 2008

image for Yorkshire Football supporters - startling demographic revelations!
Come on you blues!

Hull City supporters were today basking in the news that, in a recent Clinical study, they were found to be on average, at least 3 stages further along the evolutionary scale than some of their Yorkshire brethren from Leeds and Sheffield.

A report by a team of anthropologists from Portland, Oregon, found that in a sample size of 50 males of similar age, they displayed a much higher level of intellect and sartorial elegance than others from around the region.

By contrast, Leeds United die-hards were branded 'stupid' and 'neanderthal', with many of them being the first generation of their families to walk upright, and in some cases they had what can only be described as 'tails', which had not receded into a coccyx like spur, as in the rest of homo sapien.
Sheffield males also came in for criticism from the researchers, mainly due to their propensity for moustaches, which are commonly the preserve of the armed forces and the gay community.

'It was a complete shock' said head of research Hiram J Eagleburger, 'although they displayed many characteristics of bipedal males, it was like looking at different species, almost like the Eloi and the Morlocks in HG Wells classic novel 'The Time Machine'!'.

When asked to comment, one Hull City fan stated, 'it comes as no surprise old bean, there is a paucity of smoking jackets and cravats at Elland Rd/Bramall Lane that just wouldn't do down the M62 corridor'

Mr Eddie Slugs of Gipton, a lifelong Leeds supporter, responded with a series of guttural clicking sounds that a marine expert likened to echolocation, used by Dolphins and other aquatic creatures. His best guess at translation was 'Mar-chin-ontwo-gev-ver'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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