Written by KendoMonkey
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Friday, 9 November 2001

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At school, sport's day was one of those classic occasions in which the strong survive and the weak get hurt and then later lambasted for it.

Sports teachers were those least equipped to teach, being as they were 'strongmen with nought up there'.

Well, now it seems that that very example has been proven to be true.

Sportsmen and women are said to be the most stupid sets of successful people in the world. Out of the hundreds of different forms of success that human kind can achieve, it seems that intelligence is least necessary if one excels at sport.

One needs only to hear the mono-syllabic and catchphrase gruntings of a soccer player ("The boys done good, it was a tough match...we wanted it more...at the end of the day") to realise that there is something in the research carried out by Talimo Industries, Bolton.

Spokesperson for Talimo, Jon Skwales, said: "These people sound like puppets...I swear sometimes they have trouble looking around and talking at the same time. "

"They're certainly talented at their respective sports, but when it comes to having nouse enough to hold down a conversation, we can liken them to performing seals. Except instead of fish gut as incentive to perform, we give them millions of pounds."

Sportstar, Dennis Wise had this to say:"I don't know that it's true. Me and the boys sometimes, we get off the pitch, and after a bit of towel flicking, we talk about the ins and outs of the match, how we coulda done better, and what the quality of the birds were like on the terraces."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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