Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 17 June 2008

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Hull City player practising goalscoring celebrations

Premiership newboys Hull City have been given one of the easier starts to their first Premier League campaign, and expect to be top of the league by the beginning of September, says manager Phil Brown.

The Tigers entertain Fulham at the KC Stadium on August 16, followed by an easy away fixture at Blackburn, then a relatively straightforward encounter against bottom club Wigan at home on August 30. Three wins will take them onto 9 points, and a share of top spot.

Complacency will not creep in though.

Manager Brown knows all about complacency. He told fans on the club's website:

"We won't be complacent. I know what that means. The Oxford English Dictionary describes it thus:
'a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often whilst unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like, self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition etc.'
There'll be none of that from us, pet!"

Hull are the bookmakers favouries for immediate relegation back to the Championship, but Brown believes that, if they can get some early points on the board, they can mount a title challenge come next May.

Tigers fan Ken Scrotage, 109, who can remember watching City's first-ever game back in 1904, said:

"I remember watching City's first-ever game back in 1904."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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