Written by victor nicholas
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Sunday, 15 June 2008

image for Russian Dancing Bears Qualify for World Cup
Micha lies down, Babette is no where to be seen

The Organizing Committee for the FIFA U-20 World Cup met in Zurich yesterday under the leadership of FIFA vice-president and chairman Jack A. Warner who expressed his delight with the advanced status of the competition's organizational preparations, the high quality of the LOC presentation and particularly their selection of the Russian Dancing Bears as favorites to win the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

Some are surprised at the selection as the Russian Dancing Bears are primarily a dance act and only close out their act with a brief football number.

Purists say that animals should not be allowed in the World Cup especially those with four feet as this is an unfair advantage.

Flamboyant Russian spokesman and handler Boris, famous for his Wellington boots and top hat defends his act. "There are only three bears Micha, Nestor and Babette, I am the only one with any real football background."

Football fans say the beautiful game is being destroyed as the dancing bears prowl around lazily for most of the game and only stand up to play football during stoptime. Their strategy is try and clean sheet it and hope for a penalty kick, which is the only thing they have been trained for.

Boris says striker Micha is a force to be reckoned with as he scores on 90 per cent of his penalty kicks. The rest of the time he lies down and scratches himself.

550 pound Nestor punishes opponents with his strong body odour and fearsome lunging tackles.

Babette the goalkeeper is noted for her striking yellow Sharipova style mini-dresses, however she is not well regarded as a goal keeper. Boris has to constantly keep her from turning her back to the play.

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