Football fans across Europe were in mourning today, after Germany's shock defeat by Croatia.
Many were in tears, and couldn't face leaving their homes, such was the pain and suffering at the tragic news from Austria. One England supporter, consoling himself with eight pints of Stella Artois, said :'Those poor people, it's unbelievable. We all love Germans so much that we're almost too sad to talk about the tragic defeat.'
And Poland fan Lisa Kudrowski said :'I just wish I could do something for my neighbours in Deutschland, their grief is all of Europe's grief.'
Of course, some were disgracefully celebrating the news, and an anonymous follower of the Championships, who we'll call Gary Lineker, said: 'Hahahahahaha!'
And there were even some fans in places as far away as Greece and Iceland who were sniggering into their vodkas, and were wishing they could watch the game again, just to see the Krauts getting beaten.
Of course, there is some irony in Croatia being a team that has defeated Germany, as Germans taught the Croatians all they know about mass-murdering and ethnic cleansing, but nobody cares, as even Scots and Irish people prefer England to win than the humourless, sausage-eating Nazis to.
Coventry City is now rebuilt, after losing a game to Germany in 1941.