To help prevent ill feeling, tears and general lowliness, it has been decided that in an era of goodwill to all men, peace and reconciliation, international co-operation and a mad man running Zimbabwe, the medal award positions will be greatly extended at this year's Olympics.
Up to now, there have been four awards for each Olympic event - Gold, Silver, Bronze and Back to the Shower Room.
However all events will now see the introduction of further medal awards - Tin Medal for 4th, Wooden Medal for 5th, Plastic Medal for 6th and laminated Certificates of Participation for the remaining competitors in each event.
Although doubts have been cast as to the numbers of podiums, flags and poles required for the award ceremony in connection with the marathon and half-marathon, where several hundred participants are expected to compete at any one time, the organisers have allotted an extra 24-hour slot for the award ceremony to ensure all participants receive their awards.
Lassi Gohomenow, the Olympic multi-medallist from Kenya, and representative of the World Runners Organisation said:
"I am pleased that everyone now has the chance of winning something at the Olympics that they can either cherish or sell on e-bay.
"Too often, the underdogs remain underdogs, that it, they return home from the Olympics having won bugger-all.
"At least with this new initiative, each participant can rest assured that they can hold their head with pride regardless of how pathetic their sporting achievements might be."