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Topics: John Terry

Saturday, 7 June 2008

image for John Terry for Hull City-Betting Suspended
He's like a punt...no, likes to, sorry.

A general alert was issued by bookmakers earlier toady after a large man in a Hoofer of St George top was seen with a large kit bag of cash entering betting shops in the surrey area looking for eleven to four for penalty king John "Dr Foster" Terry to join the growing Hull City riveria revolution, currently taking place in the fair city of Ull upon Umber. Where premiership fever is said to be already way past fever pitch and rising.

The mystery punter is said to have told betting shop staff it was 400 grand in change he had left over from last months wages and win bonuses, it is thought it could of been more on other days as this heavily disguised, gruffly spoken gambling maniac is known to "like a punt".

Other experts and pundits are refusing to rule out the possibility of a switch because Hull City have a manager at the moment and Chelsea don't.

Also Hull City have no proven penalty taker with a premiership or European Champions league pedigree which is considered by many to be vital when playing at this level, the pinnacle of world football, Dean Windass no longer takes penalties due to the long run ups involved.

Possible penalty taker and fast rising superstar Caleb Folan,who has supported Hull City since he was a boy, didn't think he would be getting any this season.

When a man with a funny cockney sounding accent claiming to be from the ticket office rang me at home and suggested I wouldn't be getting any away tickets this year,obviously I became suspicious. As a footballer I am groomed and trained in both manners annd decorum and as a premiership footballer and rising superstar with a transfer value in millions I am trained to spot phone scam's. I calmly, took a sip of my shaken not stirred jack daniel's with olive and slammed,the phone down on him.

Hull City are thought to on the look out for a glamour boy centre half and sombrero's have already been thrown into the ring

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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