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Friday, 6 June 2008

image for Hull City capture Ronaldo - Tiger pattern boots ordered
17th is VICTORY

Want away genius and new George Best, Cristiano Ronaldo has ordered some natty little tiger patterned boots, some with cuban heels some not so. The little wing maestro is yet to order similar boots for playing football in as doubts began to arise over his proposed move to northern riviera club Hull City.

Since enjoying a fun packed evening at the fuel nightclub in the fair "top ten" city of Ull upon Umber. Cristiano is believed to have returned to his trailer to sleep and eat sardines.

He has since ordered tiger patterned football shirts ranging in colours from lime green through to shocking pink and includes six in oasis blue/blur orange and a few black and amber one's. He was later seen wearing his white casual 23 shirt as he strolled past Hull's King Billy statue in the historic old town district

Cristiano's agent seemed to think that global branding could be the main stumbling block in taking the deal forward as his client dosn't feel he should be exploited as part of someone's desire to become a global brand in south and West Yorkshire. A global brand is not what Cristiano is seeking at this stage of his career. "The Deep" is just a big fish tank really.

Cristiano Ronaldo will be flying from Humberside airport to Madrid later on were he will wear his new tiger pattern boots and shirt to a disco before returning to his, in your face pink, vw camper van to eat sardines,sleep and ponder further on his future,before driving over to Switzerrland to see which of his team mates he can get sent off in the upcoming festival of diving, soccer mum 2008.There's a UEFA golden flip-flop in it for someone and the "one hundred per cent,united to the core" star is expected to be thereabouts.

Other well known divers such as Jurgen Klinsman, known for his sniper shot fall and top bomber Peter Kay the Bolton based star of the John smiths beer commercials have been seen around the various training grounds at soccer mum 2008 touting their service's.

Premiership big shots Hull City may well be prepared to take them on at club level if the Ronaldo eat sardines as you play deal falls through and he Joins Real Madrid as expected because this would leave them with no divers or top bombers with premier level experience. Caleb Folan when asked about diving said "we're in the premiership,lets get fxxkinx smashed"

The deal is not thought to be dead in the water yet but there are growing concerns for the goldfish in the Leeds united boardroom.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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