Details were slowly but surely filtering out concerning the latest fiasco down at the Casey Jones stadium ticket office in the fair city of Ull upon Umber.
Local media outlets such as the Hull daily tiger rag and valium radio fm are now reporting that an investigation is underway based on information received from an unreliable source, alleging that the club have been involved in breaking UN sanctions by selling season passes to undesirables such as Robert Mugabe who sneaked into the season pass queue under the cover of darkness whilst pretending to be at a food conference in Rome.
Other undesirables said to be on the "Deano Buzz" would include Russell Crowe who arrived late and fought his way to the front and early arrival Guy ritchie who was spotted toward the front end of the queue drinking vodka and swearing with his mates.
Also of course our gracious sovereign majesty queen Elizabeth the second defender of the faith is known to be on the "Deano Buzz" at present after recently renaming Buckingham palace Windass Hall. Whilst nobody is suggesting that she herself is an undesirable, her connections in toxteth are well known and has her Everton away brief already sorted.
Other celebrities and undesirables such as Michael Barrymore, Robbie Williams, Tony Blair and Sir Cliff Richard sent professional queuers to obtain their season passes for them under pseudonyms.
Hull City football club today suspended all season ticket sales to any smelly oiks who have been queuing in vain for ages and instead have announced they will send a text message to anyone privileged enough to be awarded one of these oversubscribed items and advise recipients to consider themselves damn well lucky they had a good credit rating and the right post code. Anyone who is getting a season ticket will receive the good news from the club by text whenever they can be bothered.
Sir Elton John speaking from Ferguson Manor the much admired castle on his newly purchased preston road, estate was heard to mutter something about their been thousands of empty seats when he went and was going to take a chance on the fuel nightclub guest list.
A casual attitude like this has got others into trouble on previous occasions and Sir Cliff is said to be, not very pleased and spitting bee's, because he does not have a mobile phone to recieve a text message on.
Dictator of Zimbawbe Robert Mugabe claimed he would not be banned from anything whatsoever including football grounds and would attend football matches including those played at Wembley stadium as long as they featured his beloved Hull City.
Three million per cent inflation, I don't care I follow Hull City everywhere