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Topics: Hull City FC

Monday, 2 June 2008

image for Hull City crisis loans - Queues lengthen
17th is VICTORY

As premiership fever continued today in the fair city of Ull upon Umber several hundred die hard Hull City supporters were turned away from the season ticket queue by the club after being told they were too dirty and smelly to have them due to the fact that they had stood in a queue for several days.

Deep anger and resentment was there for all to see as club officials were heckled and booed. One angry fan when interviewed on valium radio FM claimed to be thirty three not out and had supported Hull City since they beat Watford the other week and had a dead grandfather who had once borrowed half a crown off Raich Carter.

The main throng of this multitude were seen heading off to join the other major queue in the fair city at the moment, the ever expanding crisis loan queue at Britannia house the local headquarters of the DWP.

Queues began forming for crisis loans and community care grants shortly after Hull City's historic 6-1 aggregate victory over Watford. Many hundreds are believed to have paid for their Wembley jaunts via the crisis loan system and those lucky enough to obtained community care grants or additional carers allowances are now believed to have their season tickets boxed off.

While the throngs now joining the queue which stretches all the way down Beverley road past the Hockneys bar, may well have been disappointed at the KC stadium, sources tell me this will not be the case at Britannia house.

"We've got literally hundreds of thousands to give away and everyone can have a slice" said an employee in a Hull City shirt as he left work

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