Written by Monkey Woods
Print this

Monday, 2 June 2008

image for Kenwynne Jones Breaks Dreadlock
Black Cat trying to fight its way out of a brown paper bag

There was heartache for Sunderland boss Roy Keane this morning, after his Trinidad & Tobago striker Kenwynne Jones was ruled out of the start of next season with a damaged dreadlock.

Jones was injured in a clash with England keeper David James, when the latter rushed out of his goal to prevent the Black Cats' centre forward latching onto a long through pass. The two ended up with Jones' hair becoming entangled in James' boots.

There was already 'bad blood' between the two teams as, back in the 2006 World Cup, Peter Crouch had tugged the dreadlock of Trinidad's Sancho as he rose above the defender to score England's opener. Crouch was booed throughout last night's encounter.

But this latest incident is bound to anger Rastafarians and other Black Cats the world over.

Dreadlocks are long strands of unwashed and unkempt hair that can take as long as twenty years to grow, and are the pride and joy of their owners. Sometimes, bugs are allowed to live in them, as are rats and mice.

Talking about the injury on the club website, Keane said:

"We're rubbish, and now this. Kenwynne's strength lies, like Samson, in his dreadlocks. We're doomed."

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 2?

2 4 8 6
70 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more