Written by Adi
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Thursday, 29 May 2008

After being questioned several times Chelsea owner Roman Abrahamovich revealed that manager Avram Grant had be sacked because of the way he dressed.

Speaking to our sources sitting in a Limousine parked at a location he has requested to not disclose, he said Avram Grants's way of dressing like a Mafia Warlord at Chelsea games didn't help Abrahamovich's reputation in the oil and football industry. He claims that his business associates first offered to have Grant slapped about a bit with a fish, but Roman refused to take such a violent path.

"I could never fall to the level of having to commit such antics, it's against my principles." He said smiling. "Grant is a very gentle man, and is of no danger to us. How do you expect a man who cannot even deliver a team talk to pussies like Drogba and John Terry, to be any harm to our empire?" He added, still smiling.

When asked about what he thought about Grants performance through the season, he added, "Well I didn't have time to go and watch each game this time, but from what I heard, he didn't start Shevchenko enough. He did better than the previous guy, what was his name? Yes Jose something. He managed to reach the Champions league final that I always dream of. He gave Chelsea football club its first opportunity to play in front of their home crowd. In all he was a good manager. But sometimes there are things that matter more than how you play for a manager, and in this case It was how Avram dressed."

He was also quizzed about the Drogba wanting to leave, to another club situation. He responded, "Well Drogba is an expensive striker. We are prepared to let him go provided another striker who costs the same or more is available in the transfer market. Anelka is good but he only cost us 15 million, so he isn't fit to start regularly for Chelsea."

Apparently, Frank Rijkard, Mark Hughes, Gus Hiddink and Sven Goran-Erikson have all been asked to be present with their complete wardrobe at Stamford Bridge next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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