Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 9 June 2008

image for Isle Of Man TT Latest: Records (And Other Things) Broken
Fence posts awaiting burial

The Isle of Man TT Race finished yesterday with the usual worries from locals about the dangers involved proving unfounded in this, the most dangerous race in the Isle of Man sporting calendar.

The race which takes place at an average speed of over 120mph, regularly poses a threat to the public, animals and property, with more than three miles of garden fencing having to be replaced after the race in 2007.

In 2006, four trees were damaged when competitors' bikes ran into them, and three years ago, a flower bed was ruined beyond repair when a juggernaut carrying motorcycles ploughed over them. Pet owners have also complained that their animals panic at the sound of the bikes' engines.

The worst year for the TT was 2001, when eight necks were broken, six of them on swans attempting to cross the road near the lake. Several missing competitors are also thought to be in the same body of water.

This year's TT, though, passed off without major incident, and only four people lost their lives.

Local resident Bob Crank looked relieved as he told reporters:

"We had ordered a million fence posts to repair the damage, but it was a quiet race. The posts will now be used to make coffins for the dead."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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