Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 27 May 2008

image for Bristol City Fans To Abandon Singing Cider Songs
Bristol City fans yesterday

Fans of Bristol City, the Championship playoff losers, have vowed to stop singing stupid cider songs as a way of inspiring their team, and of drowning their sorrows after huge defeats.

Bristol lost 1-0 at the hands of far superior Hull City in the Wembley final last Saturday, and must start the new campaign in August back in the Championship, enduring another season along with the likes of Doncaster Rovers, who, at least, know how to win at the Twin Towers.

Their inability to get past Hull will now cost them £60million.

The Robins fans, who had expected as much, came armed with a full complement of Cider Songs, including Coider Rosie, and The Wurzels top ten hit, I Am A Coider Drinker (Oo ar oo ar ay, oo ar oo ar ay), as well as their self-penned anthem I'm Dozy And Blathered - Give Me Another Coider.

When Hull fans laughed uncontrollably at this West Country cacaphony, however, the sad Bristolians fell silent, and having failed to console themselves, trudged off back to Avon with their tails and pitchforks between their legs.

Robins fan, John Figgis, 21, who had a piece of straw sticking out of his mouth, said:

"Oo ar, oo ar. Them coider songs didn't do us much good, did them?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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