Written by StoneCold-316
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Thursday, 13 May 2004

Michael Schumacher confirmed today during testing that he is indeed the best driver ever to have sat in an F1 car and that his modesty prevents him from saying so.

During a testing session at Ferrari's prviate test track, Schuey was asked if he would take all 18 races wins as per Bernie Eccelstone's hopes this season to which he replied, "honestly, the team comes first, after I win and I get my money, the team is the most important thing and the terrible bad luck that Rubens is suffering is entirely coincidental and this is nothing to do with my un-challenged wins".

He also went on to say that "…the governing body for Formula 1, Ferrari, is doing everything it can to improve the F1 show so as not to bore the many fans who wish me only the best ". "It is not fair to the fans that I win without at least one clause being exercised in my contract to prevent Rubens from going fast".

"For sure it is difficult to find new ways for Rubens to have a problem, but my team is really excellent and I trust them".

Schumacher has proven time and time again that he is indeed the class of the field; his seemingly limitless genius proves he is that best and he is now happy to admit that it is indeed true. The years of wondering if are now, yes he is a genius and this will be confirmed when Michael presents his Award winning speech at a law convention later this year about 'Law and contracts in F1, better than actually racing to win'.

We asked Schuey what the secret is to his strategy on the track to try and gain insight to his immensely talented mind,

"I swerve around the track to block people coming faster than me to pass, it is my genius that allows this to work" Schumacher says, " any other driver would stop after one or two moves, but I find it more effective to just keep swerving" commented the greatest driver of all time. When asked why he is able to see such tactics and other drivers do not he replied "well, honestly I don't know, surely blocking is not useful if you do it just once, maybe they are not skilled enough drivers to figure it out?", " as you know I am a fan of Karting and I see some future genius's in the under 10's category who have also figured this out but older current F1 drivers have not, its a little embarrassing for F1 really".

Damon Hill also agrees with the German King, "When I raced Michael, he could see things I could not, the way he blocked Johnny Herbert from testing, access to telemetry and no new parts was a stroke of genius", He always finds a way to get that little bit extra, I mean, Johnny was driving blind folded for a while but Michael was still able to match him in qualifying and lose only two races to him".

"the guy is a B****y genius".

The Spoof asked Michael Schumacher what will be left for him after he takes every record in F1 this year, he replied, "I will thank Rubens and continue to help him finish second, not by embarrassing him with my talent but doing it discreetly with contracts so nobody can tell ".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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