Written by matwil
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Thursday, 22 May 2008

Today, after the Champion's League final, won by lots of foreign players, Chelsea and Manchester United fans let down their country disgracefully again, by not rioting across the streets of Moscow. To add to their shame, only a handful of fans had punch-ups, without any arrests, and even shook hands afterwards.

A Man Utd fan, Sussex stockbroker Henry Bland, said: 'It was awful. We were hoping for the usual pitched battles from street to street with each other, and with the locals, and even with the riot police, and yet it didn't happen, I expect there'll be a government enquiry about this.'

And Chelsea fan, Imelda Smirnoff, said: 'I blame Rangers fans, their peaceful and quiet behaviour after the UEFA Cup final just seemed to set off all this decency, I hope this won't happen again.'

Spokesman for the Moscow police, K. G. B. Saltmine, said: 'We're very disappointed, we were hoping to show those English fans we could run away from them, just like those English cops did in Manchester.'

A spokesman for the FA said: 'The trouble was that it's too easy for the travelling fans, not even the Russian police make any sort of a challenge to them, just see the challenge the Scottish Rangers fans created. Luckily the European Championships are coming up soon, then the English can show the world again how they can fight to the death against Germans, Dutch and Swedes.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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