Written by kegoguinness
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Tuesday, 20 May 2008

image for Hot Prospect Aims for Big Leagues
Prospect George W "Mortar" Bush throws his "Oil-Rig" ball

The St. Louis Cardinals announced today a 58-year-old prospect in their AAA affiliate made "great strides" in his campaign to make the big-league club.

George W. Bush, nicknamed "Mortar" (since the nickname "the Rocket" was taken) came to the Cardinals as a "Rule 5" draftee. The Cardinals snapped up this surprisingly spry 58-year old who says that if his baseball career doesn't pan out, he'd like to someday be president of the United States.

Baseball pundits are calling him "Dubya". He calls himself a "good steward of the game". He said he plans to invade the big leagues and "stay there until the job is done."

Many around baseball wonder if he has the right stuff for the job; whether he can make it in the big leagues. His minor-league antics and buffoonery may make the long and lonely bus rides more tolerable, but how will they play to professionals? Many claim Bush doesn't have the smarts to handle the big leagues; that he's no more than a AA pitcher at best.

But Bush refutes his critics, insisting he can handle the job. "I'm the decider out there," he says. "I can shake off the catcher and do what I want to do. I make the decisions". Bush adds one last claim to those who doubt him: "Don't misunderestimate me."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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